http://8tracks.com/delaroche/no-man-can-serve-two-masters
Delight and I once had a conversation about whether or not it was possible to love more than one person at a time. To be in love. I was on the side that you can. She wasn't. I can't remember what out points were. Mine especially. I probably didn't have a firm stance. It was just something that although I couldn't put concretely into words it wasn't something I could go along with.
I hadn't thought about it since. Until tonight. I had just finished putting together the previous post and I needed to release that excess stress. Scouring my collection, then sitting hunched over an extended period of time is hard. The writing especially. The words just don't come that effortlessly. I have to sit at the muse's feet and wait, and wait, and wait.
So when that all comes to pass I like to stand, stretch, and listen to silence. I went out the back and sat on our new old wicker chair under a dim light and stared out at the street as no cars passed by. I was at a certain silence. I was at that point where I could feel not being either happy or sad. Just empty. And light. And it hit me. I knew why I believed that we can be in love with more than one person at a time.
Love is boundless. It's not simply one thing. Any person we claim to give love to isn't the same love we claim to give another person. We understand this in the way we love friends, family, and a significant other. Especially the love we have for family compared to a partner. Of course, I did say at the beginning of this that it was about the being in love type of love. But that's the point. There are varying degrees of love, like color. But it's easier to distinguish yellow from red than it is brick from burgundy.
When thinking about past lovers it'd be pretty hard to say that you loved anyone of them exactly the same. I would even say that if you said you loved each of them the same that it would be insulting to their person. As if you didn't look at each of them individually. As if you loved them as the culmination of the same experiences, thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Being in love with that person is not being in love with this person.
The biggest problem is monogamy. This isn't an argument against monogamy. In fact, if you say you're in a monogamous relationship then that's what you should be doing. Some people reading this might think this could be used as an excuse to cheat. Especially considering that we live in a very monogamous society. Any idea of loving another in such a way conjures up fears of losing that partner or being cheated on. But that's a different matter altogether. That isn't love. That is possession. But you can't own another person's memories and their feelings. You can only share some of their moments. And monogamy is the moment by moment choice of sharing moments with that one person.
This is about love and how infinite it is. And how infinite people are.
And this is about how we want to love each other. That never stops. But just as there are different ways of feeling love, there are different ways of showing that love. Know what love to show.
Show that love.
http://8tracks.com/delaroche/no-man-can-serve-two-masters
Tracklisting:
Agent Ribbons - Buries with You
Sandwitches - Marry Me
Best Coast - Boyfriend
Jordan O'Jordan - Little Finger
Bare Wires - I Love You Tonight
Unwed Teenage Mothers - Do You Wanna Be My Girl
The Manhattans - That New Girl
Ty Karim - You Really Made It Good To Me
Jill Scott - He Loves Me
Nat King Cole - Brazilian Love Song ft. Bebel Gilberto
Eric Lau - Don't Let Them ft. Tosin
J*Davey - Everybody Touch It
5 comments:
Love is such a complicated mess of chemicals and responses, conscious and unconscious, that you are absolutely right. We on't love any two people the same way, because each person is a different package of traits that appeal (or not).
Loving mulptinple people is easy, making the decision to love just one is difficult. Monogamy is also a complicated issue (if it was so black and white, then 10% of brits wouldn't be raised by a man not their biological father).
Fact is, monogamy is a powerful; display of love, but also possession and connection. It is not a clear cut case, and it is NOT the deciding factor of romantic love, if it was, there wouldn't be so many swingers, cheaters, and Cuckolds. Many of whom deeply love their mostly full time partners.
"...making the decision to love just one is difficult."
Sums it up nicely.
It all comes down to choice. But in order to choose two things must be there. There has to be an opposing choice and there has to be the freedom to make either choice.
People have forgotten this idea.
Something interesting I learned recently is that Swingers have a very low divorce rate. I don't know if there's a direct correlation or other factors involved. But the percentages are far enough apart (5% to 40%) to make you step back and think about things like trust in a relationship.
Dude, how awesome are Best Coast? And Boyfriend is my favourite track too. Nice mix.
Best Coast are VERY awesome. Definitely checking them out when they come back here to NorCal and swooping up all their 7"s haha.
Thanks.
I never thought about it that way... But you're right. I think it's definitely possible to love more than one person at the same time, but I guess it never really IS that same exact love from person to person. The love you feel for one person isn't necessarily the exact same kind of love you feel for another...
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