2009-09-25 (Babies for Sale)Initially, the big letters above this picture had a point. I forgot what I wanted to say then. But the words came to me while at the swimming pool. I was watching two older women with two little girls. Which is probably why I didn't just dive right into the pool and do a couple laps to get used to the water. I have a tendency to people watch, hard. I almost forget I exist and I become absorbed in creating their life stories. I listen to the way they pronounce their words, look at the way the older of the two young ladies makes up pool games made to attract attention from who seems to be her little sister because ever since she came along attention has been hard pressed and she's still a child and she still wants attention.
It doesn't help that the one watching the two young'ns in the pool gives more of her attention to the younger of the two. The other of the old schools spends most of her time either tanning with an air of elegance or swimming a few freestyle laps. If any of the kids got close to the swimmer the babysitter immediately told them not to interrupt the swimmer's alone time. The kids seemed to know the drill well and immediately go back to their games of look-at-me.
I wonder what kind of character that builds. What kind of pair will the two grow up to be? How did the babysitter and the swimmer become who they were? Why did one become so motherly while the other more focused on herself?
I have this fear that I'll become the swimmer one day and my children will need more than I can give. Or rather, more than I'm willing to give. I can feel it in how at home I am when I'm in the studio rummaging through the library's music. I forget about everything above ground and it is just myself and the sounds and I'm free. What if I'm still at that point when I have them and feel the need to drop everything and hit the studio every now and then? How will I manage when I can no longer get my doses of momentary ignorance? Or will I give in?
I also have this fear that children are blank slates. That their eyes are at their most open when they first come into this world. And they see everything. And they hear everything. And they become it. And they'll see me and become me and I won't be ready. I won't be at that point that I'm comfortable looking at myself. And when they become me they won't be comfortable looking at themselves and they'll start to close their eyes. How do I keep their eyes open?
How do I keep my eyes open?
Listening to this first show I can hear the innocence in our voices. We're nervous and don't know how to fill up air time as we back rap songs. But we were at our most open and ironically, most natural. The music selection/mixing itself reflects this especially. The set shifts through a wide number of genres while remaining cohesive. I've been doing this for a year now and after a while that became the main goal for each show; to put together a show that can hits many genres while every song feels like it's right where it should be. Yet this is one of the very few that I feel accomplishes that. Even in comparing the time spent putting together this first show to other times spent putting a set together I notice that the same magical presence isn't there.
I feel like I've gotten mechanical in many of the sets. In that effort to try and create an uncohesive cohesive set I try and repeat the same movements of that first time in the stacks. I hit the same areas. In the particular sets I'm really proud of there's a common connection in that it's my first time in a different part of the library (e.g. Country/Folk, International). I also feel like this set was put together much more naturally than how it happens now. It took a couple of days as each song was carefully chosen by letting albums simply play and let the song that was meant to be played that day capture us. We probably ended listening to anywhere between 30 and 40 albums. We took some home because at one point we were at the station for almost 8 hours. It's no longer like that. In some cases I even rush sets putting them together in as little as 2 hours.
But that is today's lesson I suppose. Throw myself into uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory more often and let myself find my way out. And slow down. Don't try and control it. At most simply be aware as everything happens. Then sets like this will happen more often. And as I continue to learn to nurture myself and my openness to music, I'll learn to nurture my young and their openness to life.
2009-09-25 (Babies for Sale)
Tracklisting:
| 3 | Dog Party | School Again | Dog Party EP | | | |
| 3 | All Girl Summer Fun Band | Charm Bracelet | | | | |
| 5 | Beep Kitty | Sugar | Beep Kitty | | *new arrival | |
| 1 | Bunny Brains | It'll All Be Alright | What Makes You Think You Can Save Yourself (From Yourself) | | *new arrival | |
| 3 | Koenjihyakkei | Grabham Jorgazz | Angherr Shisspa | | | |
| 3 | Candye Kane | I Put A Hex On You | Superhero | | *new arrival | |
| 8 | Foreign Exchange | Sincere | Connected | | | |
| 15 | Sol.illaquists of Sound | Bulletproof | No More Heroes | | *new arrival | |
| 4 | Cee-lo | The Art of Noise | Closet Freak: The Best of Cee-Lo Green The Soul Machine | | | |
| 5 | Blue Scholars | Ordinary Guys | Bayani | | | |
| 6 | The Bad Plus | Thriftstore Jewelry | Prog | | | |
| 7 | Akiko Tsuruga | Killing Me Softly With His Song | Oriental Express | | *new arrival | |
| 3 | The Waitiki 7 | Manila | Adventures in Paradise | | *new arrival | |
| 5 | Feather | High Butterfly | Zanzibar | | | |
| 9 | Fantastic Plastic Machine | Filter (In Viaggio Attraverso L'Australia) | The Fantastic Plastic Machine | | | |
| 4 | Bibio | Fire Ant | Ambivalence Avenue | | | |
| 12 | Ancient Astronauts | Surfing The Silvatide | We Are The Answer | | *new arrival | |
| | Port Blue | At Anchor | The Airport | | | |
| 1 | Apollonia Heck | God Only Knows | | | | |
| 4 | Meredith Monk | Ester's Song | Turtle Dreams | | | |
| 2 | Omodaka | Kyoteizinc (Video Mix) | Favorite Games | | | |
| 7 | Ming & Ping | Vanilla | Ming & Ping | | *new arrival | |
| 7 | Cibo Matto | Clouds | Stereo Type A | | | |
| 12 | Pizzicato Five | Good! | The Sound of Music | | | |
| 6 | Ore Ska Band | Almond | WAO!! | | | |
| 3 | Asobi Seksu | Umi no de Jisatsu | Asobi Seksu | |||
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